The Evolution of the Human Mouth and Stomach
By Sam DiBernardo
Is the evolutionary process occurring right before our eyes? Is our capacity to “take it down our throats and stomach it” increasing? I mean, it must be; the Government and the FCC is shoving “Converter Boxes” down our throats and we have to stomach that. Nobody asked me if I wanted to convert to digital TV—am I missing something—did anyone ask you?
I’m a retired Computer Teacher and a genuine “techie” and I know a lot about this “stuff” and, I can tell ya I don’t like the change. It is so ill conceived and forcefully done that it doesn’t sit well in my gut—in fact, it sticks in my craw! Nobody can tell me that we don’t have the technology to run both signals; there is, after all, such a thing as “broadband” and I do have DSL that allows me to use the phone and internet as the same time. Is the FCC hogging or hiding these frequencies to sell (auction, Ha ha that’s a joke) at some later time when all is forgotten?
What really surprises me is that there has been virtually no public outcry. Nobody or group shouting “Down with Digital TV!!!” Darn it, give me a choice and give me some options—the last time I looked I think that I still live in a democracy!
My taxes and expenses are high enuff and really far, far too high (so high that I’m beginning to speak in falsetto as my belt and underwear tighten) and you have the FCC forcing me to buy a Converter Box and, just maybe, the cost of a new antenna? And, I wouldn’t be surprised that if someday “Big Brother” might even force me to order cable!
OK, so I did; I used the $40.00 coupon to buy a $59.99 digitized genie. My out-of-pocket costs was $25.01 with tax. It was either that or have no television in my home after February 17, 2009—no news or disaster warnings—are you friggen kidding me? And what about "the forgotten" all us Senior Citizens living on meager fixed incomes--take away our TV and watch our disappearance one by one...
My living room TV is being “made ready” as soon as I can find an MIT graduate to work for nothing to do the setup that the FCC says “is simple!” As Signore Winces used to say “easy for you, difficult for me—Larooo!” And what about my under the kitchen counter TV and what about my little battery operated portable—heck, even Dr. House, MD watches one! Remember that scene from SCTV where all the TV’s came flying out apartment windows—you’re starting to see that now with all the TV’s sitting out there in trash piles—dozens of them! Where is that guy that shouted “I’m mad as hell and, I’m not going to take it any more???” Come on American, come on fellow citizens, let’s tell the Gov’t and the FCC to stop going to bed with the networks and TV mfg’s and cut this crap out, AND NOW!
My conclusion, re evolution, is that our mouths (voice) are getting smaller while our throats and stomachs are getting larger than the big butt’s of the FAT CATS!!!
Sam DiBernardo, Candidate for NY City Council Dist. 32 Queens, NY
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
They Came To America and Loved It!
Funny You Should Ask
Humor and Satire by Sam Di Bernardo
Some heck of a tail (Sic)
Have you ever been to Ellis Island? I have and so have my parents—at different times of course. They, my parents, were the “huddled masses” yearning to go to the country where the streets were lined with gold.
My parents were never disappointed; both became fiercely proud American Citizens and voted in every major election from the time they took the oath of allegiance. My father came over at seventeen with some high school education and quickly learned to read and write English and picked up Yiddish from working in hat and mattress factories in New England. He always retained that Italian accent. When he spoke people would look astonished because my father looked as Jewish as a Rabbi and as handsome, as learned and very distinguished! God, was he handsome and my mother was his prized beauty!
My father was born Giuseppe but was called “Joe” in his new country and Peppe by his friends -- everyone loved him. He was “hail fellow, well met” and the “life of the party” but, not at home. Poppa at home was the Padrone and the Master! When he raised his voice, we listened and, when he was home we kids (three) brother , sister and I were angels. We knew our way around him and how to avoid the ever threatening leather belt he wore but he never hit us, not once or ever. Give him a bottle of homemade wine, a loaf of bread and clove of garlic and poppa lion was as content as domesticated sheep as he headed to his much adored sofa to count them.
My mother, was another story; she came over at seven. Ellis Island has the records of her arrival with her mother and three brothers. The records are all computerized and fun and exciting to see. Momma told me about the wonder of seeing the Statue Of Liberty and seeing snow for the first time on the boat’s railing and sticking her hand into it; she kept it there so long that they had to take her to the ship’s doctor crying in pain. She told me that story 40 years later and she still had the pain etched on her Sicilian wrinkle free Facia bella. Both parents were fantastic cooks and my mother’s chicken sauce and my fathers seafood fruitti di mar were to die for. My father made his own wine in our cellar and one time “tapping the barrel” wine spilled on the floor and he got down on his knees and lapped it up crying and wagging his tail at the same time.
Talking about poppa’s tail; of course he didn’t have one but he did have hemorrhoids and momma being the joker she was, removed Vaseline from its jar and replaced it with Vick’s Vapor Rub. One night about three in the morning when poppa made his usual “pit stop” he decided he wanted a “lube job” for his coullo and the Vick’s hit the fan; yipes, when the Vick’s was applied poppa hit the roof screaming in all three of his languages reserving the choice curse words for the devil, the doctors, the lawyers, the bosses and every animal on earth all while doing a tarantella all around the house and asking for help from Jesu Christa. After that night his piles disappeared—guess they were too afraid to ever come out again! Talk of “home remedies!” What’s that expression about an ill wind? Momma never did ‘fess up to what she had done. And even though she was “programmed” for thrift during the great depression she threw both jars, the evidence, into the yard next to the fig tree and grape vines. Years ago there was a slogan by Theodore, Dr. Seuss, Geisel, for an insecticide bug spray that went “Quick, Henry, the Flit” no doubt, for many, way before your time. To get mom’s goat we kids used to say “Quick, Henry, the Vick’s!"
Funny you should ask, my mother’s nickname was Maria la Grabba (grabba is goat in Sicilian) because she raised goats as a young girl and she was used to having them around. They would all come when she called wagging their “tails” behind them. Momma Mary had no accent butt (sic) she was a practical joker! I deliciously add here, My Momma, was in my opinion, the greatest gardener on the planet—she was a “plant whisperer” and she could coo and fondle tomatoes till they grew to the size of pumpkins and my father would take them and, with a secret technique he learned as a boy in Marsala, make a simple salad with basil and garlic so delicious your brains would fall out of your head; of course, after you licked your plate…
Sam Di Bernardo
Humor and Satire by Sam Di Bernardo
Some heck of a tail (Sic)
Have you ever been to Ellis Island? I have and so have my parents—at different times of course. They, my parents, were the “huddled masses” yearning to go to the country where the streets were lined with gold.
My parents were never disappointed; both became fiercely proud American Citizens and voted in every major election from the time they took the oath of allegiance. My father came over at seventeen with some high school education and quickly learned to read and write English and picked up Yiddish from working in hat and mattress factories in New England. He always retained that Italian accent. When he spoke people would look astonished because my father looked as Jewish as a Rabbi and as handsome, as learned and very distinguished! God, was he handsome and my mother was his prized beauty!
My father was born Giuseppe but was called “Joe” in his new country and Peppe by his friends -- everyone loved him. He was “hail fellow, well met” and the “life of the party” but, not at home. Poppa at home was the Padrone and the Master! When he raised his voice, we listened and, when he was home we kids (three) brother , sister and I were angels. We knew our way around him and how to avoid the ever threatening leather belt he wore but he never hit us, not once or ever. Give him a bottle of homemade wine, a loaf of bread and clove of garlic and poppa lion was as content as domesticated sheep as he headed to his much adored sofa to count them.
My mother, was another story; she came over at seven. Ellis Island has the records of her arrival with her mother and three brothers. The records are all computerized and fun and exciting to see. Momma told me about the wonder of seeing the Statue Of Liberty and seeing snow for the first time on the boat’s railing and sticking her hand into it; she kept it there so long that they had to take her to the ship’s doctor crying in pain. She told me that story 40 years later and she still had the pain etched on her Sicilian wrinkle free Facia bella. Both parents were fantastic cooks and my mother’s chicken sauce and my fathers seafood fruitti di mar were to die for. My father made his own wine in our cellar and one time “tapping the barrel” wine spilled on the floor and he got down on his knees and lapped it up crying and wagging his tail at the same time.
Talking about poppa’s tail; of course he didn’t have one but he did have hemorrhoids and momma being the joker she was, removed Vaseline from its jar and replaced it with Vick’s Vapor Rub. One night about three in the morning when poppa made his usual “pit stop” he decided he wanted a “lube job” for his coullo and the Vick’s hit the fan; yipes, when the Vick’s was applied poppa hit the roof screaming in all three of his languages reserving the choice curse words for the devil, the doctors, the lawyers, the bosses and every animal on earth all while doing a tarantella all around the house and asking for help from Jesu Christa. After that night his piles disappeared—guess they were too afraid to ever come out again! Talk of “home remedies!” What’s that expression about an ill wind? Momma never did ‘fess up to what she had done. And even though she was “programmed” for thrift during the great depression she threw both jars, the evidence, into the yard next to the fig tree and grape vines. Years ago there was a slogan by Theodore, Dr. Seuss, Geisel, for an insecticide bug spray that went “Quick, Henry, the Flit” no doubt, for many, way before your time. To get mom’s goat we kids used to say “Quick, Henry, the Vick’s!"
Funny you should ask, my mother’s nickname was Maria la Grabba (grabba is goat in Sicilian) because she raised goats as a young girl and she was used to having them around. They would all come when she called wagging their “tails” behind them. Momma Mary had no accent butt (sic) she was a practical joker! I deliciously add here, My Momma, was in my opinion, the greatest gardener on the planet—she was a “plant whisperer” and she could coo and fondle tomatoes till they grew to the size of pumpkins and my father would take them and, with a secret technique he learned as a boy in Marsala, make a simple salad with basil and garlic so delicious your brains would fall out of your head; of course, after you licked your plate…
Sam Di Bernardo
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Heartbreak Sunday After 9-11
IDENTITY THEFT IS “COSTLIER” THAN YOU THINK
By SAM DI BERNARDO
When I was a college undergrad a literature professor returned my term paper with a comment “you write like Gertrude Stein!” My first thought was “wow, what a compliment” until I realized that what he really meant was that he couldn’t read my mind. That one comment has had a tremendous impact on my writing ever since. That being said, I want to return to the way I ended my first story—I want to return to my computer lab at St. Demetrius H.S. I told you how the FBI arrested one of my students for hacking into the computers at the Pentagon and I mentioned my favorite student ,George, who I allowed to place a “spyware” program on my computer. George, in my opinion was a “wonderkid” a true computer genius—smarter (and more honest) by far than the kid the FBI arrested, fer sure.
If you wanted to know anything about computers you could ask George. Frankly, he was better with computers than I but not foxier! After I had George demonstrate how he could reveal secret passwords I told him to delete demo program—he did and left the lab forgetting to “empty the trash.” I wonder how many of you caught the significance of that statement—I left it hanging like a pregnant thought. Why, because I wanted that program and I didn’t want the kid to know that I got it; I went to the “recycle bin” restored the program and saved it to a disk. To me that little program demonstrated the skill and stealth of those who wish to steal and act maliciously and I wanted to know how to protect myself and others. Identity thieves, my friends, are a crafty lot!!!
I told you about how dangerous that program could be to the unsuspecting computer user. But, beware computer user, there are predators ready to pounce on you. They have Spyware, Trojans, Worms and a zillion Viruses ready to attack and there are so many computer scams that they are impossible to list. Foreign countries are home to gangs of internet scammers who have become wealthy by preying on the unsuspecting American Public.
My advice is to protect yourself as best you can because “a fool and his gold are soon parted!” Do I even have to say: If something sounds too good to be true, avoid it like the plague!!!
Invest in the best anti-virus software on the market and install recommended “firewalls.” Use and change secret passwords often and take the advice of experts when available. Be especially careful with “wireless’ or WiFi—make sure you have all your safeguards in place and be careful where you use your connections whether in a coffee bar or in your own home; spies are everywhere and one could be sitting at the next table at a Starbuck & Dunkin and you would never know it! Check the Wifi connections available—if you can see them they can certainly see you. They have the ability to see your screen as easily as you do at your PC and your computer can even be used remotely as two thieves found out recently when they stole a laptop and the owner photographed them and had them identified and arrested.
I like to turn my computers off completely when not in use and I also unplug my modem. I use dial-up—slow but the safest. Hackers are not about to bother with dial-up because of the frequent IP (Internet Provider) Address change. Read up on all security issues; even the security features on your computer.
I really don’t mean to scare you but, just be careful and wise. Don’t open junk and unsolicited mail and certainly never click on an attachment unless you know and trust the sender. This last advice is the best I, or anyone can give. Viruses are so insidious they can hide a line of vicious code in an innocent looking .jpg or picture file. Avoid that site that the devil wants you to visit--clicking it can lead you straight to computer HELL!
Some of the final things I want to write about in my column is about the carelessness used when you decide to get rid of your computer. You have to be careful there as well. It is said that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” and incidentally it might be your treasure that you are throwing away.
Every Sunday, I go out into the neighborhood searching for discarded computers. All the Supers know me and will set aside all kinds of used computer equipment; it also saves them a fine for illegal dumping. One of my hobbies is to build, restore and repair computers. I have repaired, at my own expense, many computers and donated them to schools and worthy organizations and individuals (almost 30 so far).
What I have found in these computers is astonishing! People will throw out a computer without removing the data from the hard drive—my goodness, can you imagine that? I don’t need to say more but, I will.
One Sunday, right after the infamous September Eleventh destruction of the Twin Towers I found a computer in a badly damaged case. It appeared that it was thrown out of a window or terrace. The innards of the machine appeared to be OK but I decided to place all the “internal organs” in a new case before firing it up. It was simple just remove the motherboard and all the components—took me less than an hour.
When I turned on the computer a bad feeling came over me (I still get goose bumps thinking of it). The former owner was a young stock trader from one of the brokerage companies located in one of the towers. All his personal and financial information and accounts were on that computer—everything, SS number and all! I erased and reformatted that hard drive immediately! Something told me that he died that day on 9/11—it was as if he were telling me that. I just can’t put that feeling into words—it was sickening. I somehow thought that his loved ones saw that computer as an awful reminder of their loss; they lost their Son, their Heart, and became so angry they flung the horrible memory of that day away…
If I continue, I’m afraid I’ll cry so I’ll stop here.
Sam Di Bernardo,
Retired Computer Teacher
If you want to see and read more about identity theft or computer security drop a line or email to me at forlearning@hotmail.com
By SAM DI BERNARDO
When I was a college undergrad a literature professor returned my term paper with a comment “you write like Gertrude Stein!” My first thought was “wow, what a compliment” until I realized that what he really meant was that he couldn’t read my mind. That one comment has had a tremendous impact on my writing ever since. That being said, I want to return to the way I ended my first story—I want to return to my computer lab at St. Demetrius H.S. I told you how the FBI arrested one of my students for hacking into the computers at the Pentagon and I mentioned my favorite student ,George, who I allowed to place a “spyware” program on my computer. George, in my opinion was a “wonderkid” a true computer genius—smarter (and more honest) by far than the kid the FBI arrested, fer sure.
If you wanted to know anything about computers you could ask George. Frankly, he was better with computers than I but not foxier! After I had George demonstrate how he could reveal secret passwords I told him to delete demo program—he did and left the lab forgetting to “empty the trash.” I wonder how many of you caught the significance of that statement—I left it hanging like a pregnant thought. Why, because I wanted that program and I didn’t want the kid to know that I got it; I went to the “recycle bin” restored the program and saved it to a disk. To me that little program demonstrated the skill and stealth of those who wish to steal and act maliciously and I wanted to know how to protect myself and others. Identity thieves, my friends, are a crafty lot!!!
I told you about how dangerous that program could be to the unsuspecting computer user. But, beware computer user, there are predators ready to pounce on you. They have Spyware, Trojans, Worms and a zillion Viruses ready to attack and there are so many computer scams that they are impossible to list. Foreign countries are home to gangs of internet scammers who have become wealthy by preying on the unsuspecting American Public.
My advice is to protect yourself as best you can because “a fool and his gold are soon parted!” Do I even have to say: If something sounds too good to be true, avoid it like the plague!!!
Invest in the best anti-virus software on the market and install recommended “firewalls.” Use and change secret passwords often and take the advice of experts when available. Be especially careful with “wireless’ or WiFi—make sure you have all your safeguards in place and be careful where you use your connections whether in a coffee bar or in your own home; spies are everywhere and one could be sitting at the next table at a Starbuck & Dunkin and you would never know it! Check the Wifi connections available—if you can see them they can certainly see you. They have the ability to see your screen as easily as you do at your PC and your computer can even be used remotely as two thieves found out recently when they stole a laptop and the owner photographed them and had them identified and arrested.
I like to turn my computers off completely when not in use and I also unplug my modem. I use dial-up—slow but the safest. Hackers are not about to bother with dial-up because of the frequent IP (Internet Provider) Address change. Read up on all security issues; even the security features on your computer.
I really don’t mean to scare you but, just be careful and wise. Don’t open junk and unsolicited mail and certainly never click on an attachment unless you know and trust the sender. This last advice is the best I, or anyone can give. Viruses are so insidious they can hide a line of vicious code in an innocent looking .jpg or picture file. Avoid that site that the devil wants you to visit--clicking it can lead you straight to computer HELL!
Some of the final things I want to write about in my column is about the carelessness used when you decide to get rid of your computer. You have to be careful there as well. It is said that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” and incidentally it might be your treasure that you are throwing away.
Every Sunday, I go out into the neighborhood searching for discarded computers. All the Supers know me and will set aside all kinds of used computer equipment; it also saves them a fine for illegal dumping. One of my hobbies is to build, restore and repair computers. I have repaired, at my own expense, many computers and donated them to schools and worthy organizations and individuals (almost 30 so far).
What I have found in these computers is astonishing! People will throw out a computer without removing the data from the hard drive—my goodness, can you imagine that? I don’t need to say more but, I will.
One Sunday, right after the infamous September Eleventh destruction of the Twin Towers I found a computer in a badly damaged case. It appeared that it was thrown out of a window or terrace. The innards of the machine appeared to be OK but I decided to place all the “internal organs” in a new case before firing it up. It was simple just remove the motherboard and all the components—took me less than an hour.
When I turned on the computer a bad feeling came over me (I still get goose bumps thinking of it). The former owner was a young stock trader from one of the brokerage companies located in one of the towers. All his personal and financial information and accounts were on that computer—everything, SS number and all! I erased and reformatted that hard drive immediately! Something told me that he died that day on 9/11—it was as if he were telling me that. I just can’t put that feeling into words—it was sickening. I somehow thought that his loved ones saw that computer as an awful reminder of their loss; they lost their Son, their Heart, and became so angry they flung the horrible memory of that day away…
If I continue, I’m afraid I’ll cry so I’ll stop here.
Sam Di Bernardo,
Retired Computer Teacher
If you want to see and read more about identity theft or computer security drop a line or email to me at forlearning@hotmail.com
How Lions Hunt, a parable...
FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK
Humor & Satire by Sam DiBernardo
How Lions Hunt, A Parable:
Humans have watched lions hunt for thousands of years and yet much of mankind has never learned the lessons gained through simple observation.
Male lions don’t, as a rule, hunt! It is the female lions that hunt and they hunt as a group of two, three or more. Sometimes the lionesses are sisters and often not but, they form a team. There is no hierarchy here, no rank, no subservience just team work with usually the most successful lioness taking the lead. There is no equivocation; the other lionesses give her the lead position without jealousy knowing that giving her that responsibility will lead to a successful kill and food enough for all in the pride and especially the cubs.
How and why they actually hunt is not an act of cruelty but an act of survival and nature.
First they stalk their prey and select a “target” usually an old, infirm or injured animal. Then they stealthily move into position making sure they are neither seen, heard or smelled. They will almost crawl, in by inch, against the wind until perfectly positioned. One slip and the prey will be spooked and they will take off and a chance for a meal will be gone. If that happens too often the pride will dwindle and be conquered by a stronger and more successful group. Once they feel they are perfectly positioned the attack begins— with the first snap of a twig the prey animals panic and often scatter in many directions but the lionesses, “the sisters” are focused as they head for the kill. High speed for short distances is the rule (lions are not the fastest beasts of prey) and attack in several directions; the lead sister will run down and trip the hapless prey and go directly to the throat, bite through to the jugular vein and not let go. The other sisters will go for the gonads, haunches and the soft underbelly and it is all over in a few short minutes or even seconds.
Seeing the lead sister clamp on to its prey’s throat is a sight that is as awesome as the act is violent and efficient as it is deadly! The beauty of a tawny colored muscular lioness bringing down a zebra or eland in a death-lock at the throat is an action snapshot of such beauty that even primitive man recorded in cave drawings and myth…
The big male sits and watches as if being entertained and after the kill moves in for what is called the lion’s share but, leaves food for all the others. There is a reason for this as well in nature’s plan. If he is the biggest and the strongest he becomes the alpha male; the one who will mate with the sisters and the lion who will pass on his genes to the next generation. If he is big and the strongest he will defeat any challenger and his line will survive and be passed on. If not, if defeated, even his cubs will be killed—that’s natures plan as well.
When one of the lionesses comes into estrus and begins to ovulate she is mounted and the big male will have sex with her over and over again all day long with only mock complaints. The lioness will let the male know she is “ready” and she will not be put off by laziness or lack of interest—she knows how to get the male to perform and perform and perform up to 18 or more times or until, as expected, he drops from exhaustion.
Funny you should ask: If smiles on lions’ faces could be detected it would be on some sated sister lionesses’ face. My sense of satire dictates that the male can be found asleep in front of his tv on some sofa in his den…
Sam DiBernardo
PS, Remember, if you can’t laugh at yourself someone else will!!!
Humor & Satire by Sam DiBernardo
How Lions Hunt, A Parable:
Humans have watched lions hunt for thousands of years and yet much of mankind has never learned the lessons gained through simple observation.
Male lions don’t, as a rule, hunt! It is the female lions that hunt and they hunt as a group of two, three or more. Sometimes the lionesses are sisters and often not but, they form a team. There is no hierarchy here, no rank, no subservience just team work with usually the most successful lioness taking the lead. There is no equivocation; the other lionesses give her the lead position without jealousy knowing that giving her that responsibility will lead to a successful kill and food enough for all in the pride and especially the cubs.
How and why they actually hunt is not an act of cruelty but an act of survival and nature.
First they stalk their prey and select a “target” usually an old, infirm or injured animal. Then they stealthily move into position making sure they are neither seen, heard or smelled. They will almost crawl, in by inch, against the wind until perfectly positioned. One slip and the prey will be spooked and they will take off and a chance for a meal will be gone. If that happens too often the pride will dwindle and be conquered by a stronger and more successful group. Once they feel they are perfectly positioned the attack begins— with the first snap of a twig the prey animals panic and often scatter in many directions but the lionesses, “the sisters” are focused as they head for the kill. High speed for short distances is the rule (lions are not the fastest beasts of prey) and attack in several directions; the lead sister will run down and trip the hapless prey and go directly to the throat, bite through to the jugular vein and not let go. The other sisters will go for the gonads, haunches and the soft underbelly and it is all over in a few short minutes or even seconds.
Seeing the lead sister clamp on to its prey’s throat is a sight that is as awesome as the act is violent and efficient as it is deadly! The beauty of a tawny colored muscular lioness bringing down a zebra or eland in a death-lock at the throat is an action snapshot of such beauty that even primitive man recorded in cave drawings and myth…
The big male sits and watches as if being entertained and after the kill moves in for what is called the lion’s share but, leaves food for all the others. There is a reason for this as well in nature’s plan. If he is the biggest and the strongest he becomes the alpha male; the one who will mate with the sisters and the lion who will pass on his genes to the next generation. If he is big and the strongest he will defeat any challenger and his line will survive and be passed on. If not, if defeated, even his cubs will be killed—that’s natures plan as well.
When one of the lionesses comes into estrus and begins to ovulate she is mounted and the big male will have sex with her over and over again all day long with only mock complaints. The lioness will let the male know she is “ready” and she will not be put off by laziness or lack of interest—she knows how to get the male to perform and perform and perform up to 18 or more times or until, as expected, he drops from exhaustion.
Funny you should ask: If smiles on lions’ faces could be detected it would be on some sated sister lionesses’ face. My sense of satire dictates that the male can be found asleep in front of his tv on some sofa in his den…
Sam DiBernardo
PS, Remember, if you can’t laugh at yourself someone else will!!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Voice of Experience: I Wish More Would Hear!
Whispers and Shouts by Sam Di Bernardo
Queens Politics from Where I stand, Part 1
So You Want to Run For Public Office?
One day sitting in front of your tv perhaps annoyed by the news you try “channel surfing” but you can’t escape it—every channel (except one with a boring infomercial about trim abs) has a story about politics or worse—a political advertisement!
This reminded me that years ago there was a nationally syndicated cartoonist named Jimmy Hatlo and his highly successful “They’ll Do it Every Time,” appeared weekly in almost every major U.S. newspaper. Under the title he had a cartoon called Hatlo’s Inferno and he had a hell for everything, with every torture for every human foible and for every fool he could imagine! Were he around today he would have one for us too and that would be to sit in front of that tv unable to close your eyes to watch political debates and listen to the network commentators who tell you what you just saw and heard throughout eternity. Well it’s almost like that now!
Yes, this is only primary election time and the worse is yet to come. And YES, it will come like a giant tsunami and it will hit your neighborhood, your city, your state and the whole country—it’s called the “General Elections!” Worse than Death and Taxes, you can’t escape it. The best you can do is rent or buy about one hundred movie CD’s or suffer and suffer you will.
The next best thing, or worse thing, you could do is say: “If I can’t beat them, I’ll join them!” Hell’s Bells, I’m going to run for office myself and this is where the fun, if you can call it fun, begins!
In the first place it is a matter of place and time. In Colonial Times it was simple all you had to be (without mentioning race and religion) was a “land owner.” Ask to be placed on a ballot and there you were—a candidate. In sparsely populated East Cupcake North Dakota it might pretty much be much the same today. But no, not so fast, you live in New York State; the State with the most confusing, complicated archaic election laws in the entire universe. I know, been there, done that! Efforts to change and simplify New York’s election laws have been downed faster than White Castle hamburgers with the same belly bombing after effects.
Running for office, any office in the “Empire State” is so difficult and complicated it’s difficult to know where to start. We have a state where the major political parties and incumbents have a strangle hold on the system. As the ventriloquist Senor Winces’ used to have his puppet say “it’s difficult for you, easy for me.” The “ME” being the major party candidate.
He, the major party candidate, has all the support, money, worker volunteers and more “kisser uppers” than you can shake a ballot at. He and his party know all the Election Districts, Assembly Districts, Congressional Districts, State Senate, Council and Civil Court Districts in any race and they have the maps and voter registration records that can be purchased from the Board of Elections. He and they have and can file all the required mountain of forms. They know how and when to file the forms (there is a calendar for this and dates are super critical). You best know to do this or forget running for office—if you mess up on the slightest technicality you will never see your name on the ballot and I haven’t begun to mention “signatures and challenges!” Getting people to sign your petition to is akin to asking for a blood donation and just as there are blood types there are “types of registered voters.” Only registered democrats can sign for a democratic candidate—republican for a republican and so on. They can only sign for one candidate once. If you need, say 1000 signatures to get on the ballot you’d better submit 2000 and more because sure as shootin’ pardner they will have a small army of worker ants at the Board of Election’s Office to challenge each and every signature.
Years ago when I ran for a seat in The United State’s House of Representatives so many signatures I collected were challenged that what was left was not enough to be placed on the ballot. They gotcha right there—you can’t swing at a ball if you can’t get into the batters box! At a hearing at the Board of Elections I threatened to handcuff myself to a table in order to get a favorable ruling—that failed so I ended up taking my case to the Pro Se Division of Federal Court. Me alone facing a battery of their attorneys and I was lost. The judge was stern and told the attorneys that “they” could be fined up to $10,000.00 for each illegally red lined signature but when they got the case postponed to the month of December I cried out, “but your honor, the election is in November” to no avail. This was a classic case of “Justice Delayed is Justice Denied!!!” My Opponent was the sole candidate who won the election that year without a single vote cast against him. It was like having the Kentucky Derby with only one horse.
It was pure idealism that made me decide to run in the first place when in the prior election for Congress the Incumbent had every single line on the ballot; Dem., Republican, Conservative and all the rest. Even then one had no choice—if you wanted to vote it was for him or nothing! I burned inside as I asked myself “what country am I living in?” That burning flame was so intense that I vowed that I would run myself as a challenger. To add insult to injury there preceded a series of events that to say my opponent ran a campaign so one sided against me that to say that it was “overkill” would be gross understatement. I always asked myself, especially after my Godmother (who I had loved dearly) called and asked me to drop out of the race what in the hell was he afraid of? Did me and my 85 young college men and women staff and volunteers stand a chance of being elected; of winning the election? When he saw when and how we collected so many signatures he must have thought so; or maybe it was the buttons and my campaign t-shirts on handsome young men and pretty young co-eds that made him or his advisors decide to “nip this dangerous thing in the bud!”
To be continued; let us know if you want to hear more…
Part II, DIRTY TRICKS and the actual running of a political campaign to follow next time or, as they say on “Spanning the World-- if there is a next time!”
Submitted for your approval by Sam Di Bernardo,
The Older and Wiser Candidate for New York City Council Dist. 32 Queens, NY
email: forlearning@hotmail.com
youtube: www.youtube.com/electsam
Fasebook as: samuel di bernardo
PS, I think this is some pretty good stuff so, do me a favor and make a comment or two
Thank you
Sam
Queens Politics from Where I stand, Part 1
So You Want to Run For Public Office?
One day sitting in front of your tv perhaps annoyed by the news you try “channel surfing” but you can’t escape it—every channel (except one with a boring infomercial about trim abs) has a story about politics or worse—a political advertisement!
This reminded me that years ago there was a nationally syndicated cartoonist named Jimmy Hatlo and his highly successful “They’ll Do it Every Time,” appeared weekly in almost every major U.S. newspaper. Under the title he had a cartoon called Hatlo’s Inferno and he had a hell for everything, with every torture for every human foible and for every fool he could imagine! Were he around today he would have one for us too and that would be to sit in front of that tv unable to close your eyes to watch political debates and listen to the network commentators who tell you what you just saw and heard throughout eternity. Well it’s almost like that now!
Yes, this is only primary election time and the worse is yet to come. And YES, it will come like a giant tsunami and it will hit your neighborhood, your city, your state and the whole country—it’s called the “General Elections!” Worse than Death and Taxes, you can’t escape it. The best you can do is rent or buy about one hundred movie CD’s or suffer and suffer you will.
The next best thing, or worse thing, you could do is say: “If I can’t beat them, I’ll join them!” Hell’s Bells, I’m going to run for office myself and this is where the fun, if you can call it fun, begins!
In the first place it is a matter of place and time. In Colonial Times it was simple all you had to be (without mentioning race and religion) was a “land owner.” Ask to be placed on a ballot and there you were—a candidate. In sparsely populated East Cupcake North Dakota it might pretty much be much the same today. But no, not so fast, you live in New York State; the State with the most confusing, complicated archaic election laws in the entire universe. I know, been there, done that! Efforts to change and simplify New York’s election laws have been downed faster than White Castle hamburgers with the same belly bombing after effects.
Running for office, any office in the “Empire State” is so difficult and complicated it’s difficult to know where to start. We have a state where the major political parties and incumbents have a strangle hold on the system. As the ventriloquist Senor Winces’ used to have his puppet say “it’s difficult for you, easy for me.” The “ME” being the major party candidate.
He, the major party candidate, has all the support, money, worker volunteers and more “kisser uppers” than you can shake a ballot at. He and his party know all the Election Districts, Assembly Districts, Congressional Districts, State Senate, Council and Civil Court Districts in any race and they have the maps and voter registration records that can be purchased from the Board of Elections. He and they have and can file all the required mountain of forms. They know how and when to file the forms (there is a calendar for this and dates are super critical). You best know to do this or forget running for office—if you mess up on the slightest technicality you will never see your name on the ballot and I haven’t begun to mention “signatures and challenges!” Getting people to sign your petition to is akin to asking for a blood donation and just as there are blood types there are “types of registered voters.” Only registered democrats can sign for a democratic candidate—republican for a republican and so on. They can only sign for one candidate once. If you need, say 1000 signatures to get on the ballot you’d better submit 2000 and more because sure as shootin’ pardner they will have a small army of worker ants at the Board of Election’s Office to challenge each and every signature.
Years ago when I ran for a seat in The United State’s House of Representatives so many signatures I collected were challenged that what was left was not enough to be placed on the ballot. They gotcha right there—you can’t swing at a ball if you can’t get into the batters box! At a hearing at the Board of Elections I threatened to handcuff myself to a table in order to get a favorable ruling—that failed so I ended up taking my case to the Pro Se Division of Federal Court. Me alone facing a battery of their attorneys and I was lost. The judge was stern and told the attorneys that “they” could be fined up to $10,000.00 for each illegally red lined signature but when they got the case postponed to the month of December I cried out, “but your honor, the election is in November” to no avail. This was a classic case of “Justice Delayed is Justice Denied!!!” My Opponent was the sole candidate who won the election that year without a single vote cast against him. It was like having the Kentucky Derby with only one horse.
It was pure idealism that made me decide to run in the first place when in the prior election for Congress the Incumbent had every single line on the ballot; Dem., Republican, Conservative and all the rest. Even then one had no choice—if you wanted to vote it was for him or nothing! I burned inside as I asked myself “what country am I living in?” That burning flame was so intense that I vowed that I would run myself as a challenger. To add insult to injury there preceded a series of events that to say my opponent ran a campaign so one sided against me that to say that it was “overkill” would be gross understatement. I always asked myself, especially after my Godmother (who I had loved dearly) called and asked me to drop out of the race what in the hell was he afraid of? Did me and my 85 young college men and women staff and volunteers stand a chance of being elected; of winning the election? When he saw when and how we collected so many signatures he must have thought so; or maybe it was the buttons and my campaign t-shirts on handsome young men and pretty young co-eds that made him or his advisors decide to “nip this dangerous thing in the bud!”
To be continued; let us know if you want to hear more…
Part II, DIRTY TRICKS and the actual running of a political campaign to follow next time or, as they say on “Spanning the World-- if there is a next time!”
Submitted for your approval by Sam Di Bernardo,
The Older and Wiser Candidate for New York City Council Dist. 32 Queens, NY
email: forlearning@hotmail.com
youtube: www.youtube.com/electsam
Fasebook as: samuel di bernardo
PS, I think this is some pretty good stuff so, do me a favor and make a comment or two
Thank you
Sam
Sunday, December 14, 2008
A Recent Column of mine
Identity Theft in the Information Age
Part 1, By Sam Di Bernardo
For security reasons I recommend two checking/visa/master whatever accounts and the lesser of the two, by far, I just keep just enough money to use for a small or specific purchase whether on-line or at a cash register; that reduces your risk. If the thief is not deterred by such a small amount he, if successful, just ends up with a little, what they call, “chump change!” Be careful with your information and personal data, avoid becoming a “chump” yourself.
PS, I told that student who had shown me how to reveal hidden passwords to take the program off the computer by deleting it. He deleted it and left the old professor at the computer. But, in leaving, he forgot to do one thing! Can you guess what that one thing was?
Part 2, Protecting your Social Security Number and Driver’s License Information to follow.
Retired Computer Teacher
PS, This column was published in the Queens Courier--what I didn't mention in the story why emptying the trash was so important! Well I went onto the trash icon used "restore" and saved the program for future experimentation!
SAM DIBERNARDO, The Man for Change; Candidate 32nd Council Dist Queens
Press Release
Sam Di Bernardo Is hard working and a skilled educator with supervisory experience who has worked his way through college. He has taught privately and in New York City Schools & Evening Ed as a Licensed Computer Teacher. Sam has been H.S Drafting, Job Corps Math Teacher and a Department Chairman, who has earned more than 15 graduate credits in Math Education on a Xerox Scholarship at NYU and is a master of computer graphics and digital photography. Sam earned his BA from
Our Good Neighbor Sam believes one can gain life’s successes through a sound education and especially from great schools! He will fight for the improvement of our neighborhoods’ Public Schools and for OUR Children’s Education. He believes that the 3 most important things for your children’s life are EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION! Our Children should be nurtured in superior and safe schools and inspire them to reach for the stars!
Few are better qualified to be a New York City Councilman; he is “A Leader” with a sense of humor and proudest to be called “ An Honest Man, Teacher, Good As His Word!”
Vote for him with confidence!!!
Support Sam in his bid to be the NYC Councilperson from the 32nd Districe, queens. Email: forlearning@hotmail.com and visit his youtube page at:
www.youtube.com/electsam and visit his facebook page as samuel di bernardo
VOLUNTEERS AND CONTRIBUTIONS WILL BE GREETED WITH OPEN ARMS!!!
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